Day Three

I didn't start this on day one for a reason, I didn't want to focus on being whiny and weak when I look back at this. Today is day three of both Atkins and insanity. Although I'm also on day three of my time of the month, which I believe has impeded my weight loss and also attributed to the whining two days ago; I am strong today. I wake up in the morning and do a video. I go to work and about twelve hours later go back to the gym, meanwhile counting my carbs and keeping them as low as humanly possible without sacrificing vegetables. Today is day three... Three incredibly successful days of not cheating or being negative or talking myself out of a work out I deserve, or talking myself into a portion of food I don't need.

This is huge for me because I am an addict of food. When I'm sad, I eat, when I'm mad, I eat, stressed, happy, sleepy and active, I always seem to be eating. The only exception to this is when something is so out of my control, I start restricting or purging. I'm not a thin girl. To be completely honest I am 5'7" and usually weigh about 144-151. I'm not fat, but I'm not thin either. I'm slightly above average which is wildly above being comfortable.

I used to run. Even when injured running was my addiction. Not for long periods of time but just enough to raise my endorphins and feel awesome. Now I can't run without fighting a mental battle with myself on a regular basis.

So there are my problems- here are my goals:
1) to not depend on food to make my days better
2) to enjoy every meal- and not panic due to poor choices and fat content.
3) to trust myself to make the right choices every time- to include portion control and limit over indulgence.
4) to give my body the work out it deserves.
5) not to limit my physical activities due to any fear (other than death)
6) to be the weight, size, shape and tone I have worked to be at, therefore I deserve to be at.
7) to kick my ass and earn my sleep and days off.
8) to finally be proud of myself for everything. Not just work- but working out.

So I'd like be healthier, smaller, and happier. I'm blogging on how I'm getting there so that if I ever get lost, I have a road map here on where I went wrong.

Today- I started out at 154.4. Tomorrow I hope to report a lower number.

Heather